Happy Valentine’s Day friends! Since it is a special holiday all about love, my lovely partner agreed to appear on my blog. So I introduce you to – Perry. I rarely mention him here I know (just kidding). So after yesterday’s post filled with love and female friendship today is about romantic love. Also this gives you the inside scoop on my relationship (my posts about anything relationship related always get a lot of views so I imagine this is what you want).
Note: I’m going to be answering the same questions (as long as his answer doesn’t answer it) but Perry hasn’t seen these answers before. I’ve also edited his answers for length and clarity.
How did we meet?
Perry: We first met after you invited me to your roommate’s (who was one of my first, and very few friends at Carleton) surprise birthday party. It was an “ice cream social” and at the time I was very committed to an unfounded self-imposed embargo on dairy. This led to relentless teasing from you and the other partygoers, and to me seriously reconsidering my aversion to dairy. The next time we met, which was the first time we really engaged with one another meaningfully, was at a back to school party you and your roommates had the following September.
What is your favourite thing about me?
P: I am not sure I could pick just one thing. I think what first stood out to me was how driven, ambitious, and independent you are. You knew what you wanted, and it did not seem there was any one thing that could stop you from getting it. I still see that in everything you do, and I admire you greatly for it.
L: He has this way intense charisma and everyone is drawn to him. When he enters a room everyone wants to be his best friend but he underestimates this. At his birthday this year he wasn’t sure more than five people would show up – over 25 did, we took over the bar we were at. He also works incredibly hard at school but never puts his relationships with me or his family members or friends on the backburner. Even though school comes first he never makes anyone feel like they’re coming second.
Least favourite? (be nice)
P: Your ability / willingness to stay up past 10 pm. I am one hundred years old, and am pretty well a write off past 9:30pm. Although I must admit, you have always been very accommodating of my need to go to bed early, and when we are together you always agree to go to bed much earlier than you would otherwise. Thank you (:
L: Ugh probably the reverse. His inability to stay up past 9:30p.m. which then means he wakes up super early and immediately wants to get out of bed. I definitely sleep in later and then want to lie in bed for awhile.
Why do you think our relationship works?
P: I think this goes back to my answer for number 2. You are very ambitious and independent, and I would like to think that I am as well. As a result, we both have dreams, goals, and busy lives outside of each other. We have never tried to make the other person our lives, but rather, tried to make them a part of our already very full lives. By doing this, we have been able to keep pressure off of one another, and more readily adapt to what has, in hindsight, been a number of significant changes in very quick succession (school, graduation, moving, new jobs, new school, long distance etc.)
L: I agree with what Perry is saying about us both being independent but I think we work really well because there is an overall commitment to each other. We both live really busy lives and don’t have a lot of free time but give that up to be able to talk to each other every night over the phone or on FaceTime. Sometimes being there for a person really just is being a continuing presence so they know they can count on you. But I think we also work because of similar interests and that we both like to argue, in a friendly way. We often spend hours debating politics or movies or music or just general pop culture. I don’t think either of us could be with someone who wasn’t willing to do that.
What advice would you give other couples?
P: Communicate. Say how you feel. If something is bothering you or does not feel right, just talk about it. Brooding and letting something become a bigger problem (or something seem like a bigger problem in your head) will literally never help.
L: Learn how to fight. It’s definitely a skill, one that you’ll have to work on. But burying your head in the sand and just saying “we’re never going to fight”. Accept that you will fight and then learn the other persons quirks and the best way to communicate even when angry. Also! Learn each other’s love languages. I believe so strongly in this theory and I really notice it friendships, relationships even family.
Favourite thing to do with me?
P: I do not think I can pick one single favourite thing that we do. We do so many fun things! It helps that we have a lot of similar interests, similar taste in movies and TV shows etc. I think right now one thing I really miss doing with you though, is going to parks, and museums, and just walking around chatting, and reading all of the fun plaques because we are huge nerds.
L: I really love traveling with him. In the summer we were going on constant adventures all over the East Coast. It was really nice to get to plan our next adventures together and we actually were really good travel partners, that’s something we had to learn how to do too. Sure the 14 hour drives weren’t great but there’s no one I’d rather be in a car with for that long. I also really miss going on hikes together, we used to go hiking once or twice a week and exploring different trails. I’m hoping in the summer we’ll get to do a bit more of this. Right now my favourite thing is probably just singing in the car. Any time the radio comes on we’re singing along. I really treasure anything we get to do together right now. It all makes me happy.
Ideal date night?
P: As was previously mentioned, I am one hundred years old. One of the many wonderful things that comes with hitting the triple-digit milestone, is that you lose somewhere between most and all desire to go out (the fact that it is winter does not help this either). Bearing all of that in mind I think my ideal date right now would anticlimactically be cooking a nice dinner (or like, chicken burgers and box mash potatoes, I am not picky) together, and then cuddling up and watching a movie, or a couple of shows, and going to bed early. I am also a big fan of morning dates, grabbing a coffee somewhere quick and close, and then going for a nice walk somewhere else for brunch.
L: I think my ideal date night would be going out to dinner at some local place while we’re traveling. When we were in Halifax we went to this one restaurant right on the boardwalk and got to watch Fireworks as we ate – it was pretty magical. During the day, definitely a hiking date.
What did we do last year for Valentine’s Day?
P: I am pretty confident that last year for Valentines Day we did almost exactly what I said above was my idea date. You came over, we both dressed up nice because we are cute, I made dinner (I can’t remember what I made, but it was probably chicken and rice because that is all I ever make), we exchanged gifts, you had done some baking, and after all of that we went back to your place, cuddled and watched a movie.
How do you feel about Valentine’s?
P: I have typically been just slightly negative of neutral on Valentine’s day. But last year was really nice, and I think I am starting to warm up to the idea.
L: I think we all know how I feel about Valentine’s Day – I mean I turned my blog pink and dedicated seven posts to it. What can I say? I love a theme?
Fun question: what have you been loving lately?
P: Because school is very literally killing me, I have not had much time outside of it to love things. In the small amount of free time I have, I’ve really been enjoying trying to watch all of the Oscar hype films. As well, I’ve started watching HBO’s the young pope, at first I was a little confused and put off by the style of it, but I am starting to get intrigued now, and definitely looking forward to watching more.
Also, recently got some new running gear which I am loving (shoes, hat, and a shirt), because running in Ontario in January sucks, but this new equipment has helped keep me warm at the beginning, and from drowning in sweat at the end so, I’d say I am loving that.
That’s all I’ve got for you for now, check back tomorrow for another. I’m away right now so my Instagram is going to be really fun, and you can follow me on other social media to make sure you never miss a post.
What did you think of this style of post? Do you want to see more interviews? More personal posts? Let me know.